(Photo sourced from Pintrest)
If there was one thing I would of wanted someone to tell me when I was younger, it would be that “There is no such thing as perfection”. Then maybe I wouldn’t have spent so much time beating myself up for not being ‘good enough’.
In middle school, much like others, I was vulnerable, self-conscious, and naive. Unlike today, society didn’t discuss body image and the detrimental effect that insecurities can have on you . Not many people encouraged others to embrace their flaws. Social media was just on the rise, and the self love tags (i.e. #bodyposi) were probably just starting up. I would always look at my other friends who had a lighter complexion, longer hair, and were skinnier, and wonder why I couldn’t be as pretty. I remember hating my thighs, and taking advantage of any chance I could get to hide them. I didn’t wear shorts for over a year. Whenever my yearly physical came around, that’s all I could think about. I would starve the whole day, and do anything to drop a couple pounds before stepping on that scale. Every once in a while I would make a spontaneous decision to stop eating in hopes of being skinnier. (Which is very dangerous and unhealthy). If I had a test or assignment to hand in, I would wait for a crowd of people to go up with, so the class wouldn’t stare at me. I feared judgement. At the time it all seemed so normal. I didn’t think anyone else would understand or relate. I began to love my self once beautiful people complimented my flaws and made me open my eyes to what was there all along. Loving myself was and still is a journey.
Q: How do I learn to love myself?
1.Accept your Flaws.
There are over 7 billion people in this world, and fun fact not one of those people are perfect. No matter how beautiful/handsome, wealthy, or happy they may seem. Everyone can find something they don’t like about themselves. There is merely no such thing as perfection. It is not existent. How can I prove it? Well, if I find brown eyes to be ‘perfect’ and someone else finds blue eyes to be ‘perfect’, then not only are they not ‘perfect’. They also can’t please everyone. You have to embrace your flaws. So what if you have a slightly crooked nose, stretch marks, or if your left boob is smaller than your right? You are only human. It takes time to love yourself. Whatever you do, don’t give up.
2. Comparison is the Enemy.
This had to be my biggest downfall when I was younger. You look over and see that the blonde haired, blue-eyed girl is absolutely gorgeous and can ‘get any guy if she wanted’. But little do you know that she sits by the toilet for hours on end crying, praying for help, and forcing herself to bring up every bit of the dinner she just ate. Deception can be dangerous. NEVER compare yourself. You are not them. They are not you.
3. Focus on Inner Beauty.
Most of the time flaws and insecurities are written on our bodies. But rarely do we weigh inner beauty to that degree. Maybe because it’s not visible. Your
Outer inner beauty is what matters most. Anyone who wants to be around you and appreciates you, does so because you’re a good person. Change the track of your mind to hone in on this aspect of yourself. Inner beauty permeates. Looks can only go so far. They really aren’t everything.
4. Celebrate Yourself.
This is not an invitation for a pity party! Celebrate because you are only human, and if you ask me you’re doing a pretty good job at it. Think of other aspects of your life and how hard you work. You deserve it. Eat a donut or (nine…), put on your velvet slip dress, list out all of your achievements, showcase your natural beauty, and just bask in the glory of how unique you are.
5. Speak up.
Spread the message to others. Let other people know that they should love themselves as well. And that they are admired. Tell them they are cared for. That they are absolutely beautiful. If you happen to have a social media platform with or without a large following, educate! You never know who is in need of help, but is afraid to ask.
xo, The girl behind leopard frames